I Don’t Care How She Does It - Olivia Munn

I was diligently reading the new Cosmo yesterday, and came across this article written by actress/comedian Olivia Munn. I’m absolutely smitten with this woman’s outlook on life and felt obliged to share some of her tips. I hope people find this as thoroughly enlightening and entertaining as I did.

“I Don’t Care How She Does It” - Olivia Munn

If you put anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 would be your entire family is trapped in a house, burning alive. Now, most people live their life at anxiety-level 1. I comfortably hover around anxiety-level 8…daily.

I always knew I wasn’t normal. Not in a good way – like, every time I eat carbs, a unicorn poops a rainbow…which, by the way, would be so awesome – but in the way that made me ruin opportunities and relationships.

Because I have a lot of anxiety, I’m not the type to sit around and wait for doors to open. I’m a go-getter. I used to concentrate my energy on the wrong things, like comparing myself to others, which inevitably led to my own demise. Over time, I’ve learned that it’s more useful for me to redirect my focus. I can only give you advice that’s worked for me. So here are a few ideas that have helped me live the life I was meant to live.

You Don’t Need Their Light

There will always be someone smarter, taller, or prettier than you are. And there will always be one dumber, shorter, or uglier than you are. It’s completely useless to compare yourself to other people.

I personally don’t compare myself to others. Some people have a bright light, and it’s easy to be attracted to it. But I don’t need anyone’s light to shine my way.

I know the person I want to be, and that’s the only thing I compare myself to. For instance, I try not to be a hater, try to live my life with good intentions…and ultimately, try to be a good person. If I can do that, then really, I’ve won no matter what happens.

Live the Life You’d Be Envious of If You Saw Someone Else Living It

This is my personal mantra. Whenever I’m going through a difficult time, like a breakup, and I’m wishing to be the person who could get over it and move on, I tell myself just to be that person. Instead of waiting to be inspired by someone else and being jealous that they’re living a life I wish I had, I tell myself not to wait for that moment and to start being the person I want to be.

If you wish you were the woman who went for that big promotion, learned a second language, dumped that guy who cheated on you, then just be that person. Think “If I have the energy to wish for it I have the energy to do it.”

If You Don’t Know Your Worth, How Will Anyone Else?

At an audition in 2006, I made a decision that changed the course of my life. As actors, we often go into auditions with the mentality of “Just tell me how you want me to do this. Whatever you want, just give me that part.” But then I’ve lost the one thing I have that no on else has: myself – my history, my sense of humor, my cadence. If I lose that, what’s left to set me apart?

I told myself to do the audition just the way I would do it without any fear or need to please. If it didn’t work, I wouldn’t do it again. But why not try? It’s not like the other way had been working so great. That audition was my career-changing job at G4. And once I saw that it worked I never went back.

I learned that I couldn’t determine my worth based on what job I get or guy I date. I have to know my worth without the outside affirmations. How will the world know you’re worth it if you don’t?

Realize When You’re The Bitch

Do you want your daughter to grow up to be smart and beautiful, or do you want her to be smart and ugly? Because clearly, you can’t have both. Well, as much as some people want to believe that and have put me in the center of such a debate, I just won’t subscribe to that antiquated notion. One reason I think stereotypes are perpetuated is because they make people feel comfortable…especially the ones women give themselves.

When women tear down other women, we’re creating ceilings where they don’t need to be. There are enough elements in this world trying to stifle our growth as females that adding to it is simply self-destructive.

I grew up with a stepfather telling me I wasn’t smart enough or pretty enough to accomplish my dreams. I was reaching for the stars, and he detested me for daring to reach that high. I remember at 8 years old thinking to myself, “Just because you couldn’t make your dreams come true, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to go for mine.”

The energy it takes to hate someone takes away from the time you could be building yourself up. Maybe the thought is that with competition dead, by default your mediocrity will have to be good enough, and, in turn, you win…With that kind of mentality, I guarantee you that you’ll never win.

Love Getting Older…Because Really, What’s the Alternative?

I cohosted The Today Show with Hoda a few months ago, and she asked me my age on live television – a big no-no in life and an even bigger one on national television. But I don’t think women should be ashamed about their age. That anxiety is wasted energy. I can’t control the day I was born. All I can do is take care of myself – take care of my body, skin, mind. The generation of actresses like Jennifer Aniston, Leslie Mann, and Halle Berry gives aging a pretty fucking sexy appeal. If I stop having birthdays, stop getting older…well, I guess that means I’m dead. And if getting older is part of the game I signed up for, then I have no problem telling you I’m 31. How old are  you?

Munn Olivia. “I Don’t Care How She Does It.” Cosmopolitan 15 Sept. 2011: 172-175. Print.